Civil War Day

Apparently, today is Civil War Day--meaning the Kentucky v Louisville game. :)  I'm running a half marathon tomorrow. My friend Carlee sprained her ankle last weekend, so I'll just be running it myself. I'm not too excited about the weather though. It looks like it's going to be cold and rainy. I might need to drink some bourbon before I run.

I moved out of my ex-boyfriend's house yesterday. Hauling all of that furniture was not a good idea when I have 13.1 miles to run tomorrow!  I also fell down the stairs when I was carrying a TV. I don't know how, but I managed to not break the TV...even though it fell on me and then tumbled down the stairs lol. 

I have a gnarly bruise on my thigh, so I'm hoping it won't give me too much trouble tomorrow!  

I ate this delicious pimento cheese and ham sandwich with slaw today when we arrived in Kentucky:

It's from Wallace Station which was featured on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. We sat outside and enjoyed the 70 degree weather. We are back at the hotel now, being lame and studying...lol Well, I'm blogging because I'm too tired to look at my chemistry notes. 

Getting ready to watch this Civil War go down. I've got Louisville winning it all in all of my brackets, so I am rooting for them, but I'm also a fan of UK. Let the battle begin! :)

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What I Need Most:

Through these past few months, I've come to realize that the hardest thing about this situation is that I'm still in the process of moving on, whereas he has moved on.  I don't want him back. That's one thing I do know.  I just don't understand how someone can wipe their hands and call it a day.  I guess it helps when you are seeing someone else already.  

So, I started wondering how I could crawl out of this empty-heart kind of feeling. When I thought to myself about what consumes all of me, the answer was bodybuilding.  In all actuality, bodybuilding had a lot to do with the demise of my relationship. Instead of working on "us", I was more interested in working on "me".  Was I selfish?  I'm not sure how to answer that, but what I do realize is that I found valid happiness during that time. I found a direction to follow that provided a purpose in my life that aligns who I am with what I am passionate about.  

Recently, I admitted to a friend that I started feeling lonely and that it scared me to call "it" that.  I don't have a problem being alone; it's living in a state of loneliness that scares me.  The gym is the place where I face myself. The iron is always there to witness all of these self discoveries from the mirror's reflection.  My successes and failures are always there for me to pick up on.  The gym provides me with an opportunity to self evaluate who I am from the inside out.  

In simple words, it's where I need to be at this point in my life. It's what feels like home. It's what makes me feel whole. 

It's time to get serious about competing again. :)  

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